Last week was hard.
We saw a policeman in his thirties, a man in his sixties, and a young man in his twenties all die by gunfire in a shootout in Montreal. And – thanks to social media – some of us saw far too much.
The alleged shooter was a young man from Lethbridge, Alberta, who’d come to Montreal angry at the world. We know this because he left an over 100-page manifesto in his hotel room, railing at women, capitalism, pornography, and just about anything else you can imagine.
His writings are described as those of an “incel” or involuntary celibate – a group of men who are angry at not being able to attract female partners, unlike supposedly more attractive men. These men meet online to commiserate and seek solace in being alone, but they also fuel their anger there that the world has somehow done them wrong. The internet has become a safe haven for many people who feel they have been left on the sidelines. But have they really?
It’s become far too easy for all of us to disconnect and retreat to the safety of our echo-chambers to live our lives online. Socializing takes work. Relationships take work. But if more of us were to actually take steps out into the real world to engage with others – even strangers – I’m sure we’d all feel much healthier and happier for it.
Last March, on a snowy day, I bumped into a woman I had not seen in a decade. We began a conversation on the metro that carried us both all the way home, and since we were both enjoying our impromptu meeting so much, we continued it in a coffee shop. Now retired, she said, “Something interesting always happens when you go out.” She was right. It may not always be the best time of your life, but it’s guaranteed to be something you can reflect on, become informed about, or maybe even change your mind about.
That is what living and being part of a community is all about. It’s not always going to be roses and a pat on the back. But it opens you up to ideas, people, and thoughts. Just like a newspaper. So put down the phone, and keep going out, and keep reading newspapers.
Your life, and the lives of those you meet, will be so much richer and healthier for it.