No boxes: Non-binary people have always existed

Pride month is a time for members of the LGBTQ2SIA+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Two-Spirit, Intersex, Asexual, plus) to celebrate their lives, but is also a time to remember the past and discuss issues and challenges. Even within the queer community, there is misunderstanding around certain identities, and non-binary and gender fluid people are often some of the most misunderstood. “Non-binary” is an umbrella term that encompasses people outside the gender binary (strictly male or female). Some people’s gender identities fall between male and female, and some don’t identify as male or female at all; some may identify as simply non-binary, and others fall into sub-categories such as genderfluid, demiboy/demigirl, agender, etc. Often, non-binary people use they/them pronouns, although some use neo-pronouns (example: xe/xem/xyr or ze/hir/hirs), pronouns associated with cisgender people (she/her or he/him), or some combination of these. Valerie Hunt (she/they) is a genderfluid person from Howick. For them, a moment that stands out for their own self-discovery was during a high school English class when the class was asked, “What parts of your identity are important to you, and what parts could you do away with?” They remember saying “Oh no, I can do away with gender,” which rang some alarms for their friends. Throughout college, Hunt played around with cosplay and felt gender euphoria through experimenting with different characters there. As they got older, they became more comfortable identifying as non-binary without being worried they aren’t “non-binary enough.” Jay Lloyd (they/he) is a non-binary person from Hemmingford. Growing up, they didn’t feel they had access to discussions surrounding queerness or a queer role model to look up to. The first time they were exposed to the concept of gender and sexuality was through a Lady Gaga music video. Once they were in college, they were exposed to people with various queer identities and felt able to explore. They officially came out four years ago. Val Hunt and Jay Lloyd both say that non-binary identities are not a phase and that gender can exist on a spectrum, not as solely male or female. PHOTOS provided Lloyd states that there have been various characters in the media that helped them to better understand genderqueerness and feel represented. Some of these shows are Steven Universe, Sabrina, and Atypical (which features an actor who is non-binary off-camera). Having access to representation is extremely important for queer youth: “The sprinkles of celebrities coming out, or even just talking about it in the media, it made me feel more represented and happy.” ‘I didn’t step out of one box for you to put me in another’ Both Hunt and Lloyd have experienced frequent misunderstandings about what being non-binary is. The lack of information surrounding non-binary identities has given rise to many misconceptions, and one of the biggest ones is that all non-binary people must be androgynous. Hunt explains that there are multiple reasons why that is incorrect. First, how one dresses or does their hair or makeup is a personal preference and does not have to fit into traditional gender roles. As well, there are barriers to accessing androgynous clothes that some people may not be able to overcome. This could be due to monetary status and not being able to afford a new wardrobe; but it can also be because many androgynous clothes are not made for plus-size bodies. They add that “There’s still a lot of binary ideas put on to genderqueer people… I didn’t step out of one box for you to put me in another.” Lloyd explains that another misconception is that being non-binary is a myth. “I’ve had people say non-binary people don’t really exist. There’s only ‘he’ and ‘she’.” This is often combined with the idea that non-binary people are just “predators” trying to sneak into bathrooms. Hunt mentions that the idea of gender being completely binary is a “colonial” way of thinking. They say that cultures across the globe have been celebrating genders outside the strictly male or female for generations, and that this isn’t a new concept. It’s important to note that anatomy and sex does not have an impact on a non-binary identity. A person can identify as non-binary, regardless of their sex assigned at birth. ‘Don’t be your child’s first bully’ Hunt works in early childhood education, and for any parents who have kids who may be questioning gender or sexuality, they have one major piece of advice: “Don’t be your child’s first bully.” The journey to figuring out one’s gender identity is not always a clear journey. Hunt emphasizes that there is never any shame in experimenting. If one identity isn’t right for you, another might be, and that “doesn’t mean it’s just a phase.” Letting young people experiment without judgement is crucial for their mental health. “Gender-affirming care is suicide prevention,” they say. It’s a way to help kids feel safer in their environment. Though there is still a long way to go in terms of understanding what it means to be non-binary, things have definitely been pushed forward by a younger generation that is more comfortable exploring these identities. The more misconceptions get debunked, and the more representation we see, the safer the community will be.

No boxes: Non-binary people have always existed

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